


The Scientist

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, PWP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-08-12
Updated: 2002-08-12
Packaged: 2017-11-01 08:33:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/354434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The point of this exercise is to find out exactly how smart Lex is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Scientist

## The Scientist

by zahra

<http://www.obsessedmuch.net>

* * *

* * *

First, you show up, then you see what happens.  
-Napoleon's Plan

* * *

The only reason Clark wrote his Advanced Placement History paper on Napoleon is because it's his code name for Lex. Not that Lex is short and likes to wave a sword about, but he does fence and he has been known to ride into battle raving about war and dogs. 

Too much Sun Tzu and not enough Lo Mein. 

Clark knows that Lex has modeled himself after Alexander the Great, but really, he's much more of a Napoleon guy. Lex is much more about going in headfirst and worrying afterwards, and the only time he hasn't taken that approach is with their relationship. 

It's taken Clark three years, several tornadoes, a rather ill-fated attempt with Chloe, and one too many destroyed cars to get Lex to acknowledge his feelings for Clark. However, Clark has learned that being with Lex is about the destination _and_ the journey; and to this day, Clark knows he couldn't have planned their long-delayed union better if he had planted that cow in the middle of Route 19 himself. Which he honestly didn't, and he _is_ sorry that Lex totaled the Lotus, but if yet another car crash is what it took to get Lex to confess his feelings for Clark then Clark would do it all over again. 

Except he would use a different animal because Lex is naturally suspicious, and Clark knows that Lex is smarter than that. Lex never talks about how intelligent he is, but it's pretty obvious with the way he's always dropping Greek history into conversations and quoting from Shakespeare and the Godfather trilogy. Actually, Clark knows that quoting from The Godfather just makes Lex obsessive and not smart, but at least he's dedicated. 

Clark likes that about Lex. He likes a lot of things about Lex. 

Of course, Lex could quote from Monty Python or something, which isn't a bad thing, but quoting from The Godfather is just way cooler, and even Pete can't argue with that. 

Even Pete can't argue that Lex isn't cool, that Lex isn't smart; and Clark knows he's not being biased just because he's sleeping with Lex. Or not really sleeping because Clark can't remember any sleep happening recently, but that's not the point. 

The point of this exercise is to find out exactly how smart Lex is. If he's truly as aware of everything about Clark as he always claims to be. 

It's not a test as much as it's a science experiment, and the scientist in Clark just has to know if Lex is as good as he claims to be, or if this product is even as good as the website claims. Besides nothing ever got done sitting around and staring at a gray packet that costs $1.68 per daily serving. Which just goes to show that size isn't everything, even where Lex is concerned. 

* 

When Clark was eight, he discovered the joys of powdered Iced Tea. Pete's mom kept a big container in the cupboard next to the Kool-Aid mix, and one particularly industrious day the boys decided that they could make their own Kool-Aid rather than wait for the adults. 

It was more of a theory than an experiment. 

No one had ever said they _couldn't_ climb on the kitchen counters, except much later on they were informed that this was because _not_ climbing on the furniture is perfectly good common sense. 

No one seemed to realize that eight year-olds don't _have_ common sense in the adult aspect of the phrase. 

Eight year-olds are about instant gratification. 

On this particular day, the only gratification Clark had was not getting a concussion from Pete dropping a container of Lipton on his head when he tried to grab it and the Kool-Aid at the same time. 

Powdered ice-tea tastes very sugary, a lot like Kool-Aid, and somewhere in the back of his mind Clark thought Semenex was going to taste like Kool-Aid, just without the sugar. Except it doesn't taste like Kool-Aid, or even that Crystal Light that his mom likes. Semenex just tastes a lot like, well, powder, whatever powder really tastes like; and even when Clark mixes it with water, it still doesn't taste like anything. 

It's not bitter, it's not tangy, it doesn't even have a hint of tartness. The packet said it was supposed to taste sugary, but as far as Clark can tell, apart from the cloudiness, he might as well be drinking regular water. 

He's never been known for his pessimism, but Clark can tell there isn't going to be a difference of any kind, at least not on his end. There's a slight aftertaste when he's done, but otherwise there's nothing. 

Clark wonders if Lex will even notice the experiment. Of course if he doesn't flush the empty wrapper down the toilet, he'll be grounded until he can't get it up, and the experiment will be worthless. 

* 

The aftertaste hasn't gone away twelve hours later and that's slightly worrisome. Clark's lunch had a decided chalky taste going down, and his mom's chicken pot-pie seemed very heavy on the flour so he only had two pieces, as opposed to the separate pie that she normally makes for him. 

Even now, sitting in Lex's office, with Lex on his lap kissing him, Clark can't get rid of the taste. It's a sickly type of dry mouth, and for once all of Clark's lip-smacking has nothing to do with his obsession with the scar on Lex's upper lip. 

There are sacrifices Clark's willing to make for science, if only because he wants to make Lex happy, but he's beginning to grow annoyed. Here he is with a warm, lithe Lex wrapped around him, wearing one of those crisp purple shirts that Clark has grown so fond of molesting, and all Clark can think of is science and experiments and what the stupid packet said. 

Something about semen being an anti-depressant. 

Christ. There's powder and saliva and Lex's tongue scraping along his teeth, but Clark can't taste anything. It's _depressing_. He can't enjoy necking with his boyfriend, and damnit, that's what high school boys are supposed to do! They're supposed to neck and go around bases - maybe not with their boyfriends - but it's the _idea_ , and the stupid Semenex people have fucked it all up. 

Strange side effects like these are why people need a prescription for Viagra. This is why aliens should not use drugs made for humans. Clark is suffering at the hands of the drug companies and the stupid FDA's inability to regulate sex drugs. Now instead of getting off on the way that Lex tastes like hunger and sex and dark chocolate, Clark is tasting nothing. 

He _needs_ Lex; it's not _fair_. 

Clark needs that slightly sweet Lex-spiciness that he hasn't been able to replicate with all the fancy Indian and Thai food that Lex is so fond of. 

Goddamn drugs. 

Clark wants to taste Lex, but all he's tasting is Semenex powder, and it's really ruining the moment. It's like the powder is zapping Clark's mojo, and thinking of Austin Powers while Lex is sucking on his tongue is not really conducive to their limited time together. 

If he thinks about it - which is disturbing in and of itself because generally when Lex kisses Clark, all Clark's brain cells go into hiding - perhaps kissing Lex is the best way to get rid of the taste. Lex likes to fix things; he can probably fix this as well. Except Clark's body is really not on board this evening, and Clark can't remember not having a painful hard-on when Lex was this close to him, if he's smart he'll call the Better Business Bureau in the morning and complain. 

"Is there a problem, Clark?" 

"What? No. There's no problem." Just his rather tempestuous dick. 

"You seem a bit distracted this evening, is there something I can do to make it better? Perhaps take your mind off of things?" 

There's always something Lex can do, and sometimes Clark has bad suspicions about Lex's psychic capabilities. Especially when Lex gets that gleam in his eye that generally results in Clark either losing at pool or just being bent over the said table. Not that the glimmer is a bad thing, and Clark can go with the blowjob idea, but the taste in his mouth is distracting him. 

The things that Clark does in the name of science. In the name of Lex. 

No wonder he has a natural inclination for English and History instead. 

"You know, Clark, in my experience, making out generally requires at least two participants." 

"In your experience? I don't want to think about how many people you require for making out." Clark has seen pictures of those Greek orgies; Lex probably takes his pointers from them. 

"Doth mine ears deceive me? Is that jealousy I hear?" 

Yes, no. Always. It's not that Clark's jealous that Lex had a life before him as much as he knows that he can't compete with it. As much as Clark doesn't want to make this into something petty, there's still a part of him that does. It's the part that tightens his grasp on Lex's hips just that little bit. 

It's the part that claps when Lex arches an eyebrow in interest. 

"Nope, not jealous, just speaking the truth." The truth as it's manipulated and bent and folded over and over upon itself. 

"The truth is a strange and callous thing, Clark. Especially when it's right." 

"Because I'm always right." Which is a virus that his mother says ails every teenager. 

"Watch out for that ego, grasshopper, it might crush you." 

"Karate Kid references, Lex? I always took you as more of a Godfather type." 

"It takes all kinds, kemosabe, remember that the next time you want to pigeon-hole someone." A warning lesson from the master, but if Clark knows Lex as well as he thinks he does there should be something sarcastic shortly following. "I know you like other holes, Clark, but..." 

Only Lex. Only Clark. 

Only Lex could inspire Clark to this sort of madness, and there's a voice that sounds a lot like his father chastising him for letting a Luthor induce him to use drugs in the first place. 

Except that Semenex isn't a drug, it's a, well, a semen enhancer, and the packet _said_ it was supposed to make Clark's come taste better. Except when he actually thinks about how stupid he had to be to believe it, well, more AP courses do not necessarily make for a smarter student. 

Napoleon's plan was to show up and see what happened, Clark is only now beginning to see how stupid that plan is. No wonder he got exiled. 

"You're really perverted, Lex, you know that?" 

"This is coming from a high school _junior_. Does the word 'hypocrisy' mean anything in that head of yours? Besides, I thought that was why you liked me." Lex's perversions go a long way to recommending him, but they're not the only reasons that Clark wants to be with him. 

There's also that neat trick he does with a cherry stem. 

"It's one of your charms, Lex." 

"Of which there are many. I feel like we've had this conversation before." 

"Only every other week since I've known you." 

"We've talked about anal sex ever since you rescued me from the bridge? Damn, I thought I was smoother than that." Smoother than pool sticks and blue water bottles? 

It's cute that Lex thinks so, maybe Clark will leave him his illusions. 

"Anal sex. Do you have to make it so clinical and scientific?" Because there are just so many better names for it: cleaning house, rutting, playing hide the salami, riding the bronco, the beast with two backs has always been a personal favorite. 

"This from the person it took six weeks to say 'fuck' without turning into a radish?" 

"That - that was different." Clark didn't have problems saying 'fuck' as much as he worried that he was going to say something not in keeping with his innocent persona. Something he might've read on-line like 'fuck me into the mattress with your big cock.' 

"Especially when you asked me to, and I quote 'do me.'" Christ, it always comes back to that. 

"Funny, I didn't think you had a problem understanding what I wanted." 

"You could've spoken Yiddish, and I would've understood." Judging by the way that Lex is rocking back on forth on Clark's lap, it's pretty clear what he wants too. 

"For the record, Lex, this isn't going to get me naked any quicker; and I hate to break it to you, but you're about as smooth as flannel with nubs." 

"That's a rather disturbing image, Clark, and stop trying to ruin my reputation." 

"Your reputation with who?" It's not the sort of thing that makes Clark smiley and happy, but he's faced the fact that for the most part, any sort of reputation Lex has is not favorable. 

"I didn't even know flannel got nubs." 

"Don't change the subject, and if you actually wore flannel you would learn all about it." 

"Why would I need to wear it when you have so much of it? It's never going to look that good on me." 

Clark doesn't know about that, he can see Lex looking pretty hot in some flannel boxers, or in a flannel shirt. But only if that's all he's wearing. One or the other, Clark likes Lex dressed as little as possible. 

"Flattery will get you -" 

"Hopefully back to where we were about five minutes ago." 

Right, the kissing thing. With the dry mouth. God, maybe this experiment was a really bad idea. But Lex likes science. He's got that degree from Princeton and there's that Yale thing that he only mentioned once when Clark got admissions material from Harvard. 

Something about Harvard kids being a bunch of stoners. 

"Clark, are you with me here at all?" Oh, yes. Clark is very there. Clark is right there with Lex's hands on his zipper and Lex's mouth right at his ear. Christ, Lex has a warm mouth. 

"You're sure this whole truth thing isn't indicative of something bigger?" 

Bigger? No, Clark can't get much bigger. Not without buttons knocking Lex's unconscious, but there's suspicious Lex showing up right on time. 

"Bigger than -- than what, Lex?" 

Clark has always liked Lex's hands, especially when he uses them on Clark. Especially when he uses them on Clark's crotch. There are people out there who don't know about sex, Clark feels really sorry for them. 

"Certainly not bigger than this, Clark." 

"I'll take that as a compliment." 

"I wouldn't mean it any other way." 

Clark wouldn't want it any other way either. Not if it risks the end of blowjobs like the one he thinks is coming. The kind of blowjob where Lex slides off Clark's lap and forgoes style and finesse for speed and strength and raw sex. Lex has a whole arsenal of techniques where sex is concerned, and as far as Clark can tell they haven't even cleared the first half of the alphabet. He's only sure of this because 'L' is for Leather and they haven't had that instruction session yet. 

Clark would definitely remember that. Or he would remember it if Lex wasn't kneeling between his legs with the sort of dirty innocence that might be the only kind of innocence that Lex has ever had. 

There are hands running up Clark's legs, now, and when Lex grabs Clark's calves and pulls him forward Clark doesn't have to fake the immediate change in position. It never fails to amaze him how strong Lex is considering that he didn't arrive in a spaceship as well. At least not to Clark's knowledge, although most of that is currently pooled in his cock so maybe that's not very reliable. Especially not when there are hands kneading the inside of his thighs. 

Lex is drawing his fingers over Clark's rather exposed crotch, and if Clark closes his eyes then he might actually last longer than it takes for Chloe to put out a special edition of The Torch. Not that Clark really wanted to think about his ex-girlfriend at a time like this, but longevity is important. Not spontaneously combusting when Lex touches him is important too. Maybe his hands should find a nice resting place someplace, like the back of the chair. 

"Pay. Attention." 

Jesus, so much for the eyes closed method, but when it comes down to it Clark would pay in blood if he could. Clark would willingly sign over the rest of his life if Lex will agree to - to grab the belt loops of his jeans and just _pull_. 

"Red boxers today, Clark?" 

Clark knows this is the part where he lifts his hips to help things along. This is the part where Clark readjusts his breathing so he doesn't pass out and miss the main course; of course he only knows this because Lex is licking his lips and staring at Clark's cock like he's hungry. 

Clark understands the feeling. He feels like he hasn't eaten all day long. 

"The black ones were -- were dirty." 

"I like dirty." 

"I know you -" There was a thought. Somewhere. Something about dirty laundry and science, but no thought can withstand the strength of a Lex Luthor blowjob. Clark isn't sure he can either, gifts and all. It's not as though this is the first blowjob he's gotten from Lex or even the tenth, but each one is something separate, and damn Lex for being this good. 

Damn Lex for having a wet, wet mouth and making slurping sounds. He's only doing that because Clark likes it. He's only rubbing the head against his palette because he knows that it makes Clark moan. The growling comes from Lex mouthing along the underside, and Jesus, sometimes his own whimpering really bothers him. 

Clark Kent, Lex Luthor's Impervious Boy of Goo. 

It's a sad thing, almost as sad as Clark's intractable need to touch Lex. He can't help it though, Lex's head is just so soft and warm and, god, Clark was trying to be mushy, but Lex's head is just bobbing up and down along the length of his cock, and Lex's mouth is so _good_. 

There's swallowing and humming and there are fingers traveling up Clark's shirt. Shirt. He's not totally naked? Wow, Clark is certainly _feeling_ exposed, and maybe that's because Lex is rubbing his fingers against Clark's mouth like he wants to fuck it. 

Lex fucking his _mouth_. 

Sucking on Lex's fingers isn't quite as fulfilling as sucking Lex off, but considering the circumstances Clark has no desire to be picky. The louder and messier Clark is when he sucks the less likely Lex is to hear the creaking of his chair being crushed by Clark in his rather excitable state. 

There's a rather loud 'pop' when Lex finally pulls his fingers back; and if the look he gives Clark doesn't scream 'I'm going to fuck you until you're blind,' then Clark will get up and walk out now. Or not really walk because of the whole raging hard-on with Lex's mouth wrapped around it thing. 

He's actually thinking figuratively; he's not being literal. 

He didn't say that either, which is exactly why Lex appears to be grinning around his rather full mouth. Damn Lex for being so good. 

Damn him for teasing Clark... but if being damned equals a hand job from Lex, Clark is all set to enjoy some rather warm climates from here on out. Clark is actually willing to do whatever whenever however because Lex is jerking him off, but he's also nuzzling at Clark's balls and sucking on them. 

Now Clark understands who those three-pound jawbreakers are made for. Considering the squeaking of the chair, he also is starting to understand who those big titanium dentist chairs are made for as well. Clark is _not_ going to break the chair... he's not going to break the chair. However, he _is_ going to have to swallow his own fist if Lex keeps nuzzling the little place behind his balls. 

Jesus, there's a mouth and a hand and if Lex... too late. There's a tongue and _teeth_ and Clark can't take all this at one time. Not when Lex's tongue is flicking right _there_ , and it feels so good. So warm, and Lex is breathing on him too, little gusts of air right against that little hole. 

This is going to be over very soon. 

Not to his credit, but Clark once came purely by having Lex breathe on him. True, he was also giving him a massage at the time, but Clark still had his jeans on. He still had his _shirt_ on, and Lex riding his ass fully clothed was just _wrong_. 

Nothing wrong now. Nothing wrong here. Clark is going to be thinking in really short thoughts soon because rimming is happening, and now there are fingers. In. Him. 

Lex's mouth. Clark's cock. 

Game over. 

"Lex!" 

There was a dry mouth problem earlier. It's been forgotten. 

There was an experiment Clark was trying to do. He doesn't remember what it was. 

Lex has quite effectively sucked all knowledge of Napoleon and Semenex and Kool-Aid right out of Clark. Clark has no intention of protesting. Ever. Especially when Lex has that satisfied smirk on his face that Clark likes to spend a considerable amount of time working off. 

"Better now?" 

Of course, Clark is better. He doesn't remember there being a problem in the first place. How can there be a problem with Lex climbing back onto his lap and kissing him... Hard, very hard, with a lot of tongue. 

"Uh, yeah." 

"A lot better, Clark?" 

"So much better that you have no idea." Actually, Clark has an idea. Clark has lots of ideas with Lex's tongue in his mouth. Clark also now has a very citrus-y aftertaste in his mouth. He didn't have orange juice earlier, and Lex was drinking water when he came in. Odd, but not odd enough for him to stop kissing Lex. 

It's certainly not odd enough for him to stop unbuttoning Lex's shirt. 

"Good. Just making sure." 

"I think I should share the feeling." The warm, naked 'my boyfriend just sucked me off' feeling. 

"I'm definitely not opposed." 

"Glad to hear it." 

"Clark, just one thing. I know this is off-topic, but you weren't eating pineapples today by any chance, were you?" 

Pineapples? 

"No, not that I remember." But now that his brain is back to functioning, Clark is remembering other things. 

The Semenex people never said anything about the semen tasting fruity. 

"Why, is there something wrong, Lex?" 

"No, nothing you just... taste a bit different." Did Lex hesitate there? The man who once wrote Clark a five-page e-mail detailing how he was going to fuck him with his fingers, his tongue and his cock in every room of the castle is hesitating? 

Priceless. 

"Taste different? Is this a good thing, a bad thing, something you want more of?" 

"More of? That's pretty fast, even for you." 

"That's not quite what I was referring to." Not that Clark couldn't be induced to be ready, the way his cock keeps twitching is surely indicative of that. That's what Lex is grinning about. 

"Have you been in the flavored lube again, Clark?" It's strange how Lex makes that sound like a bad thing; the Lex that Clark knows would be thrilled with his industriousness. 

Oh, God, maybe it's the Semenex. 

"Never mind, I would've tasted that before hand - Besides, I've tasted all the lube in the house." Oh, phew, for a minute Clark was afraid the Semenex had wiped out Lex's memory, and he had forgotten about the lube taste-test session. 

"Exactly." 

"Exactly? You don't seem concerned here. Why not, is this --- is this a test?" Well, Clark always said Lex was smart. 

"Not really a test. It's more of a thing." A thing. God, could Clark be any more vague? Lex is obviously wearing off on him, that's why he's glaring at Clark like Clark just beat him in pool by mistake. 

"A thing? What kind of thing?" 

"A science _thing_... I know how much you like science, Lex." It's got to be up there with Godfather movies and chess. And little blue bottles and pool. 

"What ever gave you that idea?" 

"Probably that lab in your basement that I'm not supposed to know about." 

"Lab, what lab... that..." 

"Exactly. So, you know -- have you ever heard of Semenex?" 

"Semen-X? Is this some sort of perverted comic book character?" Thank God it's not, Lex would probably have to buy up the entire run and then spend all day telling Clark how gay the protagonist is. 

"No, but I got it with some comic books if that counts." 

"You got it with _comic_ books?" 

"I was already in town." It only took him 30 minutes round trip to Metropolis, not counting the 15 minutes it took for him to walk into the sex shop. 

"Kids today." 

"This from the man who introduced me to his comic book stash, and said 'look but don't breathe?" 

"That was different." 

"And so was this -- but in a good way, right?" 

"That depends, does this Semenex come in other flavors? I'm not big on pineapple." 

-finis- 

Dedication: For Becky, with thanks to Ali. 

This is the product in question -- <http://www.semenex.com/home.html>


End file.
